


Catch Me

by Skyline (skybs)



Series: Papermoon [4]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-05-16
Updated: 1998-05-16
Packaged: 2017-10-24 16:24:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/265511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybs/pseuds/Skyline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim has to choose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch Me

**Author's Note:**

> This one follows 'In My Dreams' and there will be one more part but I don't know how long it'll take. I recently fell in a black hole called writers-block.  
> Thanks to Regina for the beta!

_Will you catch me; I am falling  
Will you take away my sorrow give the love I need  
Can't you hear that I am calling at all  
Do you need me, like I need you  
Will you take me in your arms and make my life complete  
Will you catch me if I fall  
\-- 'Catch Me' by Papermoon_

Jim stood in front of the balcony doors, staring outside. "I don't know what to do," he said, turning round to face his old-time friend and ex-boss Simon Banks.

Taking a sip from his beer, Simon sighed. He had heard this particular sentence way too often during the last few months, ever since Blair had shown up, and frankly he was getting a little tired of it.

The situation between the two of them was too complicated for his taste. "What do you *want* to do?"

"What do I want? What do I want?" Jim sat heavily down on the couch. "I want to fuck him senseless and never let him out of my bed again. I... I want him to be a part of my life again..." he sighed, closing his eyes, "but... I can't... what if..."

Simon rolled his eyes. Still, after all those years, he wasn't quite comfortable with Jim being bi, or Blair for that matter, nonetheless both of them were his friends and they needed help. And he was more than willing to provide it. However, if he wanted details he'd ask for them.

Realizing that the other man hadn't continued, he asked, "What if what?"

Whispering, Jim's eyes remained closed, "What if he leaves me again? I don't know if I could go through this again."

"I can't tell you that he won't leave, and neither can you unless you try! That 'what if' nonsense won't help!" Pausing, Simon took a sip from his bottle of beer and continued, "You got a second chance, Jim. Don't make the same mistake again and let it slip away. Life's too short for that."

A sarcastic laugh escaped Jim's mouth. "And what do you think I should do? Rip off his clothes on our next date?"

Shaking his head, Simon took a deep breath. How could someone be so... so... he didn't even know a word for his friend's behavior. "Talk to him! He'll understand."

"That's easier said than done."

"Bullshit! It's been what - three months? - since Blair's been back and you've dated several times. Don't tell me that in all the time you two didn't talk." He frowned, wishing that the younger man was here to talk a little bit of reason into that stubborn-minded friend of his.

Jim sighed heavily. Sure, Simon was right and all he had to do was to speak to Blair about his fear. But how could he do it? He hadn't even told Blair what was going on with his senses! That would be a hell of a conversation.

'Hey, Blair, I'd love to be with you but I'm scared that you'll leave me again and thus I'd prefer a little distance between us. And by the way, while you were observing a chinese tribe I suppressed my enhanced senses because my Guide, the man I love, wasn't by my side.'

Oh yeah - that'd be a *good* one! Not to mention that this speech would be soon a proud member of 'Famous Last Words'. Let's be realistic - he couldn't do it, could he?

"You don't understand, Simon. I can't risk it!"

Simon stood up, pulling a cigar out of his pocket. "If you think so... then I can't help you." He moved to the door and opened it. Chewing on his cigar thoughtfully, he turned around and said, "But think about it - it's not just your life you're messing with." With that he left, wondering if there was hope for the other man.

 

\---

That night, Jim turned restlessly from one side to the other. He couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes images of Blair kept showing up, asking him questions he couldn't hear. His baby-blues were full of hurt, making Jim shiver with shame.

He tried to push the visions away, hoping that they would leave him alone. But they came back over and over again. And then, all of a sudden, he was in the middle of the jungle, a large black panther pacing in front of him.

"Leave me alone," he growled at the cat and turned around, walking away. He hadn't even made three steps when in front of him the ground broke in two, opening a large gap.

"You have to make a choice, Sentinel! Jump or stay!"

The words of his Spirit-Guide echoed in the quiet and he looked into the dark hole in front of him, fear gripping his heart with a cold hand. He spun around, looking into the calm features of his double.

"Either way, you have to live with the consequences - choose carefully, Sentinel," he said and disappeared.

With a start Jim awoke, words whispering in his mind.

"Jump or stay!"

He had to choose.

End.


End file.
